Redrawing the U.S. Map

Wednesday, October 13th, 2004 @ 9:12 pm | Humor

A proposed amendment in Colorado will allow the state to divide it’s electoral votes among the candidates, based on the percentage of votes won. A news headline on CNN Headline News reads “Dividing Colorado,” with a graphic of the state divided down the middle.

Maine already allows electoral votes to be divided, but hasn’t done so since adopting that system in ‘69. News reports have noted there are “two Maines,” the wealthy, liberal coastal area, and the poor, rural and conservative area.

So it got me to thinking: Why not just split up state boundaries based on rural/urban areas, so as to reflect the actual demographic makeup of each state? Colorado, for example, being only one of two states with a perfect rectangular shape, could be divided with an uneven line down the middle, and split into East and West Colorado. But of course, this would give us 51 states, and we’d have to change the flag. And frankly, “51 states” just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “50 states” does.

So, based on that idea, here are some other suggestions on how the current states could be divided and combined to give us an even 50 (or some other pleasant-sounding number).

  • South Florida should split from North Florida, for obvious reasons. The Florida Panhandle can be absorbed into Georgia and Alabama, where it belongs anyway.
  • California is too big. Why not divide it along the San Andreas fault, in anticipation of the time when the west coast of California becomes an island?
  • Texas is too damn big. Split the rural area of West Texas from the large cities of East Texas, and rename it Mexico.
  • Alaska can be combined with Canada (Wait, we don’t own Canada… yet). While we’re at it, let’s just give Northern Maine to Canada.
  • Rhode Island is too small. Let’s combine it with Connecticut. We can also combine Vermont or New Hampshire or South Maine, if need be, and rename it New England.
  • The New York Metro area has more people that most midwestern states. Split the rest of New York state from NYC Metro and call it West New York. Combine NYC with New Jersey, for that matter.
  • Combine West Virginia with Virginia to mitigate West Virginia’s bad reputation. While we’re at it, add Virginia’s coastal cities to Maryland. And since most every American corporation and credit card issuer is incorporated in Delaware, let’s abolish that state.

Add your ideas in the comments below.

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