Mark Foley in action!

Saturday, October 7th, 2006 @ 2:19 am | Current Events

The Mark Foley scandal has been all over the news, but if you haven’t yet read the leaked instant messages, they’re hilarious. Well, if you find sexually explicit messages from 52-year-old congressmen to bi-curious 16-year-olds funny, that is.

The interesting thing is that Foley’s messages are often misspelled and grammatically mangled — just like most text messages. Either he’s trying to ingratiate himself to his teen pages, or the esteemed congressman just has lousy typing/spelling skills. Or else he’s typing one-handed.

Among other things, Foley and his bi-curious ex-page discuss fetishes (Foley likes steam rooms, while the boy likes plaster casts and school uniforms), penis size (7 1/2 inches), and Mom’s computer illiteracy. Here are a few highlights:

  • Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing
  • Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend
  • Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha
  • Maf54 (7:55:51 PM): cute butt bouncing in the air
  • Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now
  • Maf54 (7:58:59 PM): but it must feel great spirting on the towel
  • Maf54 (8:01:21 PM): i am hard as a rock..so tell me when your reaches rock
    Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:23 PM): i have a cast fetish

  • Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge
    Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:35 PM): ya
    Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um
    Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you
    Xxxxxxxxx (8:05:08 PM): haha
    Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake
    Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): grab
    Xxxxxxxxx (8:06:53 PM): not tonight?dont get to excited
    Maf54 (8:07:12 PM): well your hard
    Xxxxxxxxx (8:07:45 PM): that is true
    Maf54 (8:08:03 PM): and a little horny

On a related note, as fun as it is to make fun of Mark Foley’s horny instant messages to teen pages, part of me actually feels sorry for him. These are not the actions of a fully self-aware, healthy gay man (as Foley himself just recently disclosed). Rather, these are the actions of a highly repressed gay man — one that happened to be a high-ranking Republican congressman.

The Republican party is decidedly anti-gay and anti-sex, so scandals such as this are no surprise. When people have to choose between their political career and their sexual orientation, their sex life often ends up lurking in the shadows as a dark, dirty secret. Thus, the in-the-closet Foley ends up soliciting teen pages for sexual favors, as opposed to having relatively normal, healthy sex with consenting gay adults.

One Response to “Mark Foley in action!”

  1. Zach Says:

    Who are we talking about here? I’m all confused. So many sex scandals!

    Maybe this is the dialogue between Lindsay Roberts and her underage male friend. Lordy! Lordy!

    Apparently the previous fired employee didn’t know his plumbing. I guess this underage male sure knows his plumbing. Well, maybe the fired man’s plumbing wasn’t big. We all know Lindsay Roberts likes everything big. You know, big homes, big vacations, and big church collection plates with thousand dollar bills.

    Maf? Yikes! Maf? Yikes! I’m thinking “MA FUNDAMENTALIST.” Could be?

    Good luck Ma fundamentalist. Lindsay has hundreds of shoes in her closet. Maf, pick a nice pair when talking to lawyers.

    Richard Roberts has 165 suits in his closet. Richard, it might be good idea to wear a cheaper $4000 suit when talking to a lawyer. Save the wear and tear on those $10,000 suits, when visiting dad in Newport Beach.

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