The Mark Foley scandal has been all over the news, but if you haven’t yet read the leaked instant messages, they’re hilarious. Well, if you find sexually explicit messages from 52-year-old congressmen to bi-curious 16-year-olds funny, that is.
The interesting thing is that Foley’s messages are often misspelled and grammatically mangled — just like most text messages. Either he’s trying to ingratiate himself to his teen pages, or the esteemed congressman just has lousy typing/spelling skills. Or else he’s typing one-handed.
Among other things, Foley and his bi-curious ex-page discuss fetishes (Foley likes steam rooms, while the boy likes plaster casts and school uniforms), penis size (7 1/2 inches), and Mom’s computer illiteracy. Here are a few highlights:
- Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing
- Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend
- Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha
- Maf54 (7:55:51 PM): cute butt bouncing in the air
- Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now
- Maf54 (7:58:59 PM): but it must feel great spirting on the towel
- Maf54 (8:01:21 PM): i am hard as a rock..so tell me when your reaches rock
Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:23 PM): i have a cast fetish
- Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:35 PM): ya
Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um
Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you
Xxxxxxxxx (8:05:08 PM): haha
Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake
Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): grab
Xxxxxxxxx (8:06:53 PM): not tonight?dont get to excited
Maf54 (8:07:12 PM): well your hard
Xxxxxxxxx (8:07:45 PM): that is true
Maf54 (8:08:03 PM): and a little horny
On a related note, as fun as it is to make fun of Mark Foley’s horny instant messages to teen pages, part of me actually feels sorry for him. These are not the actions of a fully self-aware, healthy gay man (as Foley himself just recently disclosed). Rather, these are the actions of a highly repressed gay man — one that happened to be a high-ranking Republican congressman.
The Republican party is decidedly anti-gay and anti-sex, so scandals such as this are no surprise. When people have to choose between their political career and their sexual orientation, their sex life often ends up lurking in the shadows as a dark, dirty secret. Thus, the in-the-closet Foley ends up soliciting teen pages for sexual favors, as opposed to having relatively normal, healthy sex with consenting gay adults.