He’s getting my vote!

Wednesday, March 31st, 2004 @ 10:09 pm | Humor

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Kompressor, the German techno-fiend bent on world domination, is throwing in his bid for the presidency. Although I’m really not sure he could even run, since he’s a German immigrant. (It didn’t stop Ah-nuld though).

Check out Kompressor’s lucid commentary on the issues of the day:

Crime: “You should not commit crime. If you do this, you are a criminal. Soon you go to jail. You do not want this.”

Health Care: “If you break bones, you travel to the hospital. Do not attempt to repair at home.”

Abortion: “Everyone must do this, a restaurant full of children is very difficult to eat in. It is loud and you do not eat.”

Kompressor also cares about the children. Listen to him hail the virtues of vitamins, good penmanship, and brushing one’s teeth. Under a Kompressor presidency, mass media would be utterly destroyed, and discipline would be accomplished through drum machine. A bright future indeed.

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