In My Room

As reported in this week’s Nashville Scene, two Tennessee state legislators, Sen. Charlotte Burks (D-Monterey) and Rep. Eric Swafford (R-Pikeville), have proposed a bill banning the sale or display of sex toys.

As John Spragens remarks, while legislators were occupied with restricting the right of adults to legally purchase dildos and vibrators, Tennesseans “died from a lack of health care, remained poorly educated and were among the most obese state populations in the nation.”

Aside from being ridiculously narrow-minded, the proposed sex toy ban would decimate a lively cottage industry — everyone knows how popular those women’s lingerie and sex toy parties are in the South! Not to mention that Nashville’s Hustler Hollywood, the Purple Onion and the World’s Largest Adult Bookstore would have some empty walls.

I propose that Burks and Swafford be educated on the joys of vibrating, phallus-shaped objects. Someone in their district(s) should send them a sex toy. For Burks, I recommend a rabbit vibrator. For Swafford, a vibrating butt plug.

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